近況

內在有一股強烈想表達的慾望,卻不知道要表達什麼。

感覺內在是一個整體,但牽不出一條起頭的絲線開始抽絲剝繭。

有種莫名的憂傷,感覺被一團沉重的能量籠罩。

但其實我只是不願向內看,不願意承認自己已經完整,總是想向外拉取更多,妝點自身。

如果我能靜下心來,停止向外的張狂,會感受到,內在的沉穩與圓融。

表達的慾望消失了,就只是穩定的存在著。

也許我需要的是消融自己,打破這穩固的存在狀態,
那麼,我就不需要那麼努力地向這世界表達我自己,而是自然地與之水乳交融了。

然後…意識開始渙散,進入微醺的Alpha波狀態….here it starts…

I limit myself in a confined space, so I can consolidate my consciousness and deal with this material world.

Sometimes I feel I need to reach out and express myself so I could 下載maintain this form.
Like Law of Action and Reaction, I project my energy to the world, and wait for the world’s response to stimulate my senses, so as to reassert my existence.

This world is vague to me; to adapt to this world, I have to concentrate and focus my mind very hard, so I could see the blurred lines as clear boundaries, separating individual A from individual B.

My strong mind grounds me and keeps me from drifting away; however, that mind brings me strong desire to express and prove myself as well.

I want to obey my essence, which is to just “be", but I want to be able to “work" in this material world at the same time.
Unfortunately, “being" and “working" are two contradictory concepts in this reality, and hence the dilemma.

If I was just “being" in my working place, my job wouldn’t be done itself until I “work" on it.

Maybe, giving up the desire of “working in this world" is the way to free my mind from current limited state.

1137581-bigthumbnailMaybe, when I stop trying hard reaching out, and refilling myself by strong self-expression, my solid existence will dissolve.
By the time I become like air, intangible but everywhere, “being" will be what’s “working".

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1 則回應給 近況

  1. 通告: 到處嗡嗡嗡探花採蜜的2015年~ | Lillian's Wonderland

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