An amazing year but a weak ending. It’s like I’ve consumed all my energy and my “fun quota" for the first 10 months, and after I came back, no fuel left inside me. My first host mom once said to me, Winter is time for rest and review, so maybe I’m in my winter time right now.
Those 10 months in the UK and Europe were one-of-the-kind works of art, brushed with laughters and tears, painted with love and heartbreak, colored with work and fun, dotted with all the new friends I’d met, and layered with all the travellings I’d done.
The artworks were so breathtaking that I couldn’t bear to take my eyes off them, and hence I had done a sloppy job for the rest of two months.
I’m afraid to change, and always thought “I don’t want to ask for anything more" when I’m at a peak of my life; yet I always managed to reach another peak after some time and claimed it the best time of my life, again.
So, this is new to me; for the first time in my life, I cling on to the past that had already gone clearly and don’t want to move on. I’m here, but I’m not here; I’m somewhere in between; can’t get in and can’t go back; I’m lost.
16 months of glory can’t beam my current stagnant life. Although 4 seasons are Nature’s Law, where you have planting and seeding time, growing time, harvest time, and then the rest time, when everything is still, preparing for the new beginning, I kind of want to skip the static part. It’s killing me when no stimulation’s coming in, and I have nothing new to give.
If I could have a New Year’s Wish, I’d like to wish for a dynamic, interesting, lively, colorful, fun, and exciting start next year!