A Dreaming Journey To My Death

I had a strong conviction that I would die on a certain day, namely today. I was neither nervous nor afraid, as if dying was just like moving house; you need to make some preparation and announcement, kind of troubling, but nothing dreadful.

It was literally like moving house to me. I met two guys moving from another apartment, which the director Ang Lee also lived in but in different unit. Also, I met my father, who had already moved to somewhere far away, but came to see me this time.

I asked my father, who had passed away years ago in reality, how the new place was. He answered in a temper and complained that the new place was uncomfortable, cold, in both physical and emotional manners, and inconvenient for such an old man like him.

I comforted him by saying that he would get used to that, and things were not that bad. I was going to move too, but I believed everything was going to be okay!

As to the two guys who just moved in, actually they were going to take the place where my father once lived. They told me about the place they were from, and some little interactions between them and Ang Lee, which sounded interesting.

I sense the time is approaching, and so I led everybody to somewhere; to a huge mansion.

I felt it was like a ceremony or some kind of trial that I, or all of us, had to pass. All of us lined up as a row, and there was another line formed by another group of people. Both rows were supposed to go through each door and room in this mansion following a specific route and order, and couldn’t stop until reaching the final point.

I had no idea where to start, but another line of people seemed organized and clear about where to go, so I led all the people in my line to follow them and run.

It was really intense and complicated; some rooms had many hidden doors, and you had to push and each of them to find out which door could be open; sometimes at the corridor there were rooms in all directions, and you had to decide which room should be the first to enter. My eyes followed the movement of the other group like a hawk, trying to catch up with them in the same manner; but my members weren’t that focused as I did, so the line was becoming a mess.

In one room, I saw a video clip; somehow I felt it was the work from Ang Lee since it gave me a similar feeling as the movie Life of Pi. It was the images of colorful Chinese ribbon dance; I didn’t see the people manipulating the ribbons, but from the aerial view, I could see the geometric patterns formed by the sashes, such as a star which 8 threads of white ribbons emerging from the center, and the change between colors of different sashes.

At last, we entered a big room, where another group and other people already were. Everybody entered the room and found a place to sit down, except for me, to watch a Buddha-like woman lying on her side with her elbow supporting her head.
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I walked in the room with a strip of long black silk sash on my hands. I started to wave the sash around the crowd, and around the Buddha-like woman. I didn’t feel disturbing them nor they felt being disturbed; I sensed myself became lighter and lighter, and I waved the sash over the head of that woman everybody was staring at, but none of them noticed my movement.

That was when I realized something might have happened.

I turned my head to the corner where my group were at, and found them covering something with a black sheet. Suddenly, I realized that maybe I was already dead.

That explained why nobody was annoyed by my movement and I felt myself lighter and unreal. I walked to them, and tried to sense my body at the same time. I could feel a clear separation between me and my body; it was like there were two parts of me overlapping each other but not combining together perfectly. I walked close to the figure covered by the black sheet, imagined it was my body and tried to enter it, but all I could feel was a sense of emptiness and exclusion. The link between me and my body had been broken; I was not physical to this world anymore, and the world became surreal to me now.


中午跟朋友談到死亡,我說我並不害怕死亡本身,唯一讓我害怕的是邁向死亡時所伴隨的身體上的痛苦。這種觀念我自小就有,從小我就不懂為何人會懼怕死亡,我並沒有 “很多事情還來不及完成"的悔恨,也並不擔心死後會失去一切,一直到我接觸身心靈領域後更是覺得死亡本身沒什麼。

今天特別的累,早上做光的課程天使二紫紅色光冥想時,一直呈現很睏的狀態(但又無法跟往常一樣進入催眠狀態),而且一直很不耐煩的希望冥想過程趕快結束。

吃完中餐後實在撐不住,就去睡了個午覺;這是我做的第一個夢,一醒來,發現我也不過睡了40分鐘,但精神還是好累,於是又倒回去睡,中間做了些夢醒來幾次,每次都還是因為太累而閉上眼睛…想來我體內有很多東西需要釋放吧!

從沒有以這種具象又抽象的形式夢見自己的死亡歷程,而且夢中還真的把 “死亡"與 “搬家"做了象徵與具體上的結合…我的大腦真的好好玩XD

p.s. 夢中出現那個像佛陀的女人,形象就跟朋友前幾天分享給我的照片很像,但顏色更深且左右相反,所以當時在夢中看到她的感覺是大家都在瞻仰她。

This entry was posted in 身心靈, 光的課程, 夢的故事 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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