Now if Buddha comes, nobody is going to pay respect to him, because he will not be running a school or hospital. He will again be sitting under a bodhi tree, just sitting silently. Not that nothing is done by him – tremendous vibes are created by his being, but they are very subtle. He transforms the whole world by sitting under his bodhi tree.
I saw this passage from Facebook few days ago, and I can’t agree with it more.
I’m doing nothing practically contributing to my career or future right now. I came here in searching for peaceful mind and simple life, thus I can see and hear myself again.
I’ve always wanted to do something, share something, create something and express something, because I want to feel my own existence and want to be recognized by the world.
For me, the urge of living “actively" and seeking peer recognition is like a curse binding my thoughts and actions. Moreover, it’s like an addiction that I have to quit to reclaim my freedom of mind.
So, I came here, where I neither speak the language nor know anyone; therefore, there’s no way I can or need to anticipate the response from others.
Existence – Osho Zen Tarot
I’ve already known that your mind creates your reality. So rather than working on my reality practically, such as improving my CV, or listing all pros and cons of different choices, I decided to work on my mind first.
I’ve always been distracted by the outer world, and influenced by values projected by people around me. I tend to lose myself and my own independent thinking when being with someone; that’s why I need this retreat, to be alone without any interference from others.
The meditation process is still ongoing, and the journey of finding my own voice in my heart is not yet over. There’s not much progress in figuring out my career path so far, however, I obtain more and more realization in different life domains everyday.
Maybe, my focus was too narrow before. Life is composed of different aspects, and job/career is just one fragment of life. Now I live an entirely different life as that in Taiwan or in Brighton, which brings me a whole new perspective on life. Finding my career path or not seems not so important now…but of course, I will keep concentrating on that, as that is still my main objective of this retreat 🙂
Alright…it’s meditation time again~see ya~