人生 (Life)

人生是什麼呢??人生是所有生命經驗的總和,是我們所投注的時間與精力的回報;因為每個人專注的人事物不同,所以走向了不同的人生道路。
What is life? Life is the sum of all the life experiences; the rewards of time and energy we put into something. Owing that everyone had put their focus on different things, they have stepped onto different life paths.

雖然我總納悶自己到底都將精力投注到哪邊去了,為什麼我的人生會到此地步…我並不後悔,也很享受現在的生活,只是總覺得自己越來越偏離正常的人生軌道。
Although I often wonder where did I put my effort into so my life is the way it is now, I don’t regret for what I have done at all, and I enjoy my life a lot; however, I always feel I’m farther and farther away from the “normal" life path.

想當年,我在工作上平步青雲,career path似乎都已經幫我舖好了;然後當然想交個男朋友、結婚、生小孩,從此過著幸福美滿的日子…同時還能工作與家庭兼顧,多麼完美的夢想阿!!
Once upon a time, I did well on my job, and the career path ahead of me was almost planned. Of course, I wanted to have a boyfriend, get married, then have children, and live happily ever after, while taking care of my career and my family well at the same time…what a wonderful dream!!

但曾幾何時,我丟掉了所有的夢與即將到手的成功,開始走向在世俗眼光看來是自我放逐的道路。當身邊的朋友在事業上打拼時,我將時間投入在手工藝的創作與思考宇宙真理上;當身邊的朋友在感情路上又甜蜜又辛酸時,我卻不斷的往外跑,迫不及待的體驗全世界並用我的部落格寫故事;於是幾年過去了,當年一起打拼的同事一個個成為了主管,身邊的朋友一個個從單身貴族變成美艷人妻再成為人母,而我…卻獨身一人跑來英國當無業遊民。
But somehow, I had turned my back on all of my dreams and goals, and started a journey of so-called self-exile in common perception. When my coworkers were working hard for better performance, I was working hard on my handicraft creation and contemplation on the truth of the universe. When my friends were experiencing the bitter and sweet in their relationships, I was experiencing the hot and cold of the world, and recording my stories on my blog. So when few years have gone by, my ex-coworkers have became managers, and my friends have got married and are expecting a child, while I’m here alone in the UK…and jobless.

心中很五味雜陳,一方面好希望那事業有成的人是我,有著幸福美滿家庭還正迎接著小生命的人是我,但另一方面我也不願意拋棄現有的生活,即便未來的道路充滿了不確定性。
It’s a complicated feeling. On one hand, I wish I was the one who enjoys the success in my career, and the one who has a happy family while waiting for a new member to join the big family; on the other hand, I will never trade my current life for something, even though there is much uncertainty ahead.

我想目前的自己很想看到一個outcome吧…投注在工作上的時間可以用升官來當個里程碑,投注在感情上的時間可以視結婚生子為階段性任務達成,但這些年將精力投注在手工藝、身心靈、旅行、部落格上,至今還沒看到任何一項開花結果..難免偶爾會懷疑自己這幾年是否虛度了自己的人生…即使我知道實際上我做過的每件事情都是值得的。
I guess what I want now is some kind of “outcome". You get a promotion as the reward of your time investing on your job, and it’s considered mission completed for a relationship when you get married and have children; however I still don’t see any tangible outcome for my effort on handicrafts, spiritual growth, travel, and blogging. Sometimes I would doubt myself if I have been wasting my precious time for the past few years, although deep down I know that everything I have ever done have been worth it.

但也許不到人生的最後一刻,就無法察覺自己所做過的一切到底開了什麼樣的花、結了什麼樣的果吧…好耐人尋味阿!
Nevertheless, maybe you just can’t realize the reward and the value of what you have done until the last moment of your life…c’est la vie, isn’t it?

好吧…我承認…這篇文章是因為突然得知很要好的朋友懷孕,一時衝擊太大有感而發…不然我才剛來倫敦玩,幹嘛沒事打那麼大篇文章=_=
Alright, I have to admit that the inspiration of this article came from the impact of knowing that one of my best friends got pregnant earlier….otherwise why did I bother to write this long article while I’m having fun in London? =_=

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