What is life? Life is the sum of all the life experiences; the rewards of time and energy we put into something. Owing that everyone had put their focus on different things, they have stepped onto different life paths.
Although I often wonder where did I put my effort into so my life is the way it is now, I don’t regret for what I have done at all, and I enjoy my life a lot; however, I always feel I’m farther and farther away from the “normal" life path.
Once upon a time, I did well on my job, and the career path ahead of me was almost planned. Of course, I wanted to have a boyfriend, get married, then have children, and live happily ever after, while taking care of my career and my family well at the same time…what a wonderful dream!!
But somehow, I had turned my back on all of my dreams and goals, and started a journey of so-called self-exile in common perception. When my coworkers were working hard for better performance, I was working hard on my handicraft creation and contemplation on the truth of the universe. When my friends were experiencing the bitter and sweet in their relationships, I was experiencing the hot and cold of the world, and recording my stories on my blog. So when few years have gone by, my ex-coworkers have became managers, and my friends have got married and are expecting a child, while I’m here alone in the UK…and jobless.
It’s a complicated feeling. On one hand, I wish I was the one who enjoys the success in my career, and the one who has a happy family while waiting for a new member to join the big family; on the other hand, I will never trade my current life for something, even though there is much uncertainty ahead.
I guess what I want now is some kind of “outcome". You get a promotion as the reward of your time investing on your job, and it’s considered mission completed for a relationship when you get married and have children; however I still don’t see any tangible outcome for my effort on handicrafts, spiritual growth, travel, and blogging. Sometimes I would doubt myself if I have been wasting my precious time for the past few years, although deep down I know that everything I have ever done have been worth it.
Nevertheless, maybe you just can’t realize the reward and the value of what you have done until the last moment of your life…c’est la vie, isn’t it?
Alright, I have to admit that the inspiration of this article came from the impact of knowing that one of my best friends got pregnant earlier….otherwise why did I bother to write this long article while I’m having fun in London? =_=